15 Date Night Questions to Ask Your Spouse

date night questionsFinally!  You can pat yourself on the back because you actually planned a date night with your spouse.  You know it is one of those things you should do to keep the home fires burning, but life keeps getting in the way.  

But what about the date night conversation??

what you are going to talk about for 90 minutes during dinner?  

Because another rule of date night is to get to know each other.  

To avoid talking about the kids, or the in-laws, or the bills.  

What more could you possibly need to know about the person you sleep next to every night?  

A common complaint I hear about couples who try to reconnect regularly is that it often feels stressful to come up with something to talk about.

At least something that is interesting.  

A client shared an app with me called The And Game. It’s a strange name for an app, but there are a list of questions and some of them are really good.  I’ve listed a few of them here to get you started.

I practiced these Date Night Questions myself

Just so you know…I practiced a few of these on my husband.  

It actually WAS fun and interesting.  Some of these questions are sure to spark some great discussion between you.  I’d love to hear back from you!  Let me know if you found these helpful and how it went with your spouse.  

*Just a caveat: this app asks a lot of questions around porn.  I do not advocate using porn with or without your spouse.  Please read here for reasons to avoid porn.

15 Date Night Questions to get you started

  1. What is one thing that I could do that would end our relationship?
  2. If only one of us could be successful, who would you want it to be and why?
  3. What is a mistake you have made that changed your life?
  4. What is one thing I do sexually that you don’t like?
  5. What is the biggest compromise you have made for our relationship and why?
  6. How does our financial situation affect our relationship?
  7. How have I changed since we met and how do you honestly feel about it?
  8. What is the greatest lesson I taught you?
  9. If you had to be envious of me for one thing, what would it be and why?
  10. In terms of our relationship what are you most afraid of and why?
  11. What do you think you missed out on by becoming a parent? Or What do you think you missed out on by not becoming a parent?
  12. How do I hinder the dreamer in you?
  13. What is your favorite imperfection about me?
  14. When were you proudest of me?
  15. What is one thing you hope I see about you?

Men, this is gold for your bank account! Women want connection.  They want to feel as if you are interested in them and really KNOW them.  These questions are a great start to helping you develop more intimacy.  Trust me! Your partner will LOVE this.

Try these Date Night Questions out and let me know how it worked! Here’s to many more great date nights in your future.

Pornography Problems: a Cultural Epidemic & Crisis

Pornography problems.

Pornography is a huge problem. Here are several resources to help break the addiction

Pornography problems.

They’re bigger than you might think.

TIME Magazine’s cover story from the week of April 11, 2016 states that “A growing number of young men are convinced that their sexual responses have been sabotaged because their brains were virtually marinated in porn when they were adolescents.”

YourBrainOnPorn.com also sites the article with the following subheading:  “The first generation of men who grew up with unlimited online porn sound the alarm”

“These young men feel like unwitting guinea pigs in a largely unmonitored decade-long experiment in sexual conditioning. The results of the experiment, they claim, are literally a downer.” (TIME)

Ironically though, TIME Magazine used pornographic images to accompany the story.

Dr. Jim Dennison recently wrote this in his daily cultural commentary piece dated April 6, 2016:

The photographs that accompany the article are “totally unnecessary to the story. I cannot think of a rationale that defends including them. I can only assume that whoever made this decision thought their graphic nature would sell more magazines. If so, Time is using sexual images to make money, which makes its magazine pornography…This is like offering whiskey at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.”

The Problems with Pornography Use

Dennison also discusses the scientific evidence that indicates that watching pornography causes brain damage, not to mention that it’s highly addictive.

We know that porn is often linked with lower sex drives. The irony here is that it is often used by couples to enhance their sex lives, and in the beginning it sure seems to do just that. But this is a danger zone. Marriage doesn’t solve pornography use, but pornography can destroy a marriage.

One Couple’s Story: A Pornography Problem

Mark and Susan watched pornography videos together because both of them felt it heightened their sexual experience.  

Mark enjoyed watching Susan get turned on by what was happening on the screen. Neither felt there was anything wrong with what they were doing because they were doing it together and they were having better sex!  

But over time, Susan became less interested in the videos.  She began feeling as if she and Mark were never having sex without them, and there was less intimacy when they did have sex.  

Mark knew Susan was starting to get turned off by the process, so he began viewing porn alone.  He and Susan were having sex less and less often so he felt justified in turning to outside sources for gratification.

 They came to see me when Susan realized just how much porn Mark was viewing and that he had begun entering chat rooms to have sexual conversations with other people.

Mark and Susan were caught up in the vicious cycle that is the beginning of a full blown sexual addiction that could have destroyed their marriage.

Get Help for Your Pornography Problem

If you have a pornography addiction, we can help. Many of our counselors and coaches have helped porn addicts break the cycle, and some of our staff have battled this addiction themselves. Eric Tooley shares his experience here.  Now Eric leads a non-profit organization, Noble Choices, and teaches seminars around the country to schools and churches on the dangers of porn to both men and women.

Reaching out because you are struggling with porn is often intimidating, shameful and scary but we promise you that working with us is very private, discreet and effective.  

Contact us online or by phone at (972) 441-4432.