About Kim

Kim Bowen is a Licensed Professional Counselor who founded and owns the The kim BowenMarriage Place in Dallas, Tx.

I hate divorce. I mean…I really, really hate divorce. Marriage is risky business. Divorce is a real threat to EVERYONE who says: “I do”. I realized “everyone” included me when I almost lost my own marriage. I married my best friend over 27 years ago. I knew then that half of all marriages fail, but I thought I would never be on the wrong side of that equation. We had the kind of marriage our friends wished they had. Until one day we didn’t. Looking back, I still don’t know when things started going wrong. It was so gradual neither of us noticed. But there actually came a day when I looked at my husband and realized I didn’t even like him anymore much less love him. I said those fated words that make me cringe when I hear them today: “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore”.

When I said those words to my husband, I believed them. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I didn’t want to live with him anymore either. We tried marriage counseling many times over the years and it never worked for us. All the failed attempts to makes things better only reinforced my belief we were done.

Fast forward a few years and I’m more in love with my husband now than ever before. What changed? We are the same two people, raising the same two kids and still occasionally fighting the same battles. The difference is … we are connected again on an emotional level. Somehow during the years of raising kids and building careers we lost sight of each other. We stopped making our marriage a priority and we paid a dear price for that. But I’m so grateful we didn’t pay the ultimate price. I learned how to love my husband again and I’m no longer intimidated by those statistics. Not because I think we are immune. I already learned that wasn’t true. But because I learned how keep our love alive…how to engage my husband with love. I learned loving him was a choice I could make even when I didn’t like him all that much.

If you are in a marriage that feels distant, I hope you will learn how to engage your spouse with love. If your spouse is telling you they want a divorce, it doesn’t mean it is time to give up. It means it is time to get serious about saving your marriage.

My mission is to change the way people view love and marriage. I realize I am swimming against the social currents that persuade us to believe marriage is disposable…that there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. But I’m taking a stand because I’ve lived it and I know there is hope even when it feels hopeless. I want to show you how you can fall in love with your spouse again…even when you think there is nothing left. I want to help you re-engage your spouse when you are the only one trying and I want to teach you how to divorce-proof your marriage so you never have to go through the horrible pain of that particular loss.

You don’t have to settle for less when you say “I do.” Having a great marriage isn’t a great mystery. Let me show you how.

8 thoughts on “About Kim

  1. My wife wants a divorce she already has a paperwork and wants to file but I really want to save my marriage we have four children and I really want to make my marriage work what do I do

    • Hi, John, This is a tough situation to be in and hard to know what to do. I’m going to send you an email to offer you some help. Warmly, Kim

  2. Hi, Kim. Shortly after Thanksgiving my wife told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore after ten years together and six married. We also have three children. I was unintentionally very selfish and controlling and I realize that now and it’s filling me with so much shame and guilt. I cracked under the pressure of stress and depression. She’s my entire world and I’ve been taking a lot of steps to show her that I genuinely want to change (like getting a full time job and going for my GED) but I also keep doing a lot of the big “don’ts” detailed in your free ebook like telling her I love her and, as much as I try not to, crying. It’s been hard trying to play it by ear. A couple of weeks ago I made the decision to move out but my living situation now is not great to say the least and it’s even having effects on my health. I’m very interested in your Re-engage Toolkit but I’m curious if it would be wise to tell her I need to move back in before implementing the steps from the ebook and committing to the toolkit. I know I can do them but living separately will be and has been a huge hindrance. She’s basically outright saying she wants to just divorce but we can’t for at least a few more months which gives me time to stall it. We had an appointment for a marriage counselor but she’s positive it won’t be any help so I was also thinking of just going by myself for a while.

    I know I’m asking for free advice in a way but I sincerely feel that your toolkit might be the thing that helps me hold strong and turn this around even if you can only offer a simple “yes” or “no” answer. I want to believe that we can rebuild in time and have a closer, stronger marriage for it. One where I can e everything she ever wanted me to be.

    • Hi Jamie, I’m glad you’ve found the free ebook helpful for your situation. The Re-engage Tookit is often the next step for direction beyond the ebook. In most cases, living under different roofs makes reconnecting more challenging and sometimes slower. It does not negate the principles of how to do it though. If you want a more personalized approach however, you need to be working with a coach directly. The coach will look at your situation specifically, the dynamics of your relationship, and help you come up a with a plan most suitable for you. That would be my recommendation. If you’d like to explore working with a coach, call my office and one of my admins can get you set up with a free consultation. I’m rooting for you Jamie! Kim

  3. Hi Kim, My wife filed before Christmas and then had her attorney withdraw mid-January. We’ve been separated since week before Christmas. I thought divorce was over, then she mailed me Pro-Se court filing in late February to quickly get it done (gave me 4 days !) So I hired an attorney to slow down the process, now she’s hired an attorney and not speaking to me. Have been married 9 1/2 years (2nd marriage) she is 56 and going through menopause and hypothyroid issues along with serious trust issues from her 1st marriage. All we had was communication issues and she didn’t even give us a chance to work on them ourselves. Have agape love for this women and would do anything for someone to interject in her decision to move on instead of working on the marriage. What can I do or am i doomed?

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